I call
this living so aggravated with life or pretending the war isn’t internal; those
primrose sentiments those Atlantis parachutes while nonetheless sinking into
ocean sand;
as
merely a fledgling so engrossed in cocaine while mother sought serenity; this
room so conspicuous such pain in every eye while a child takes too much as
normal; this wrenching conflict when faced by appearing-beauty a man feeling
incomplete; but days are ladybugs and magnifying-glasses and a book of sutras.
So, longing
was hiding, or unshared, sunk into splendor; those minerals for ghettoes, those
teachers crawling through, our innocence seeming simplistic; as traveled those
years weeping for my homeland engaged in societal calligraphy—
such
rapid dishonesties at deeper sincerity even when nonsense stood clearly under a
microscope;
but
women were different they stressed proprieties they desired real power;
such
pure inhibitions this world with varied values and so vexed by indifference.
Those
soothing sounds our Tibetan music while building bridges; even now a slight
mistake to feel one has arrived with the right woman;
our
justices seem different our legacies seem dependent or our guts carry various
concerns; as creatures disgusted by something we exulted where one becomes
affected, nonetheless; or back at home listening to argumentation and realizing
so much is missing;
an
inner nightstand for an interior nightlight where night is not symbolic; those
dark havens those darker screams while darkness seemed so apropos;
but a man silenced
to dice at so many determinations as an aria ascended and left its shame—
those agitated
bibles this Old Law while professed in something no man can claim; our sweeter
poisons our swivet fortunes while Love looked such clean-filthiness;
this war upon
senses these angry aggregates so ashamed to call religion a conglomerate;
as tried in
studies and quickly admonished for religion is based in community; those inmost
formless thoughts our fresco walls or our years connecting those dots we
ignore;
such pagan indebtedness
such partial hermeneutics while spirit is overdue for an exegesis;
so privy to
outsoar, but a woman quite nervous, hither, to have is to hold for dear life;
where love is crucial while love is critical for oases seem this color; our
unspoken farewell our lost passion so clear those intimacies never existed.
