when
calamity hits, we flee to Nigeria, while exiled from ourselves. the lands are
orange/saffron such spinning or losing where it keeps at us. so many ghosts
such bipolarity such wrenching agonies—those depressive elements those deep
muddy mayflies while able to flee, fly, or set aflame. our interior our
furniture while one is dying: so close so much our rainbow as never to escape our
freedom; to toss a flag or a white shirt to realize we can’t surrender—those spaces
as infant dreams to watch a child wiggling: the xylophone the saxophone our
guts on redial: our heaven, what is may be, or screams echoing through faces. a
doctor’s smile a worker’s misery where one made a breakthrough; so close to death,
those last seconds, to look up into a room filled we adoration—pure love as
never defecting to cringe the ghost as it rises! those spaces into an elephant
while answers are too irrelevant; to damn genetics to feel instinctively while I
couldn’t reread what the ghost may see! as falling backwards to fall forwards
but ever so much falling—the pendulum the curse while it opens doors—to ingest
esoteria or to remain concrete where something is in communication: upon a soft
napkin, scribbling your name, where a passerby was a nurse; she looked, touched
in a gaze, so gentle her walkaway! so much a scream such a social knife while
most are so narrow; our concerns our lives our daily hush hush! our vitamins
our cries while our world is softer silence. as banished souls, or received
into dungeons while trying as never to become hopeless; such apathy such rain
where curses come in droves. a kite meant so much a tractor is so heavy we don’t
acknowledge the way we alter the universe. (so much strength in you, while many
never understand, I’m not trying, I just must be! so terrible the light
so wretched the anxiety or so pure the devastation.) as nervous for essence, or
worried about writing reality, as creatures so forced into psychology: the dear
vase, those dear aches, while losing body weight; so dear in me so lost to me
so determined in something one hasn’t fathomed.
