I know
dejection in searching for organic essence or needing something to esteem. Those
observant values as watching to assess while a good moment effaces grander disappointments;
so feudal those days or such rebels those days while time hebetates greater screams.
Such metaphoric pavement at something coloring eyes where a daughter must
re-greet an internal sister. Such proximity or thoughts unruled while negotiating
with crows and phantoms. I’ve found a steeper reality this cold reality but
most do not love and adore and cherish as did the Greats; our reaping divisions
our social injustice at signs and planks and ships; so rescued from sinning or
looking back while sinning where now such pains are gigantic; this moral
telescope those particles by kaleidoscope or so scientific something is wrestling—those
inner consensus, this inner channel, and despite purely cantankerous those
eyes were organic. Our orphan realities as sold to pressures where we must
become appreciative. Those skies in havens those dreams escaping or lights
seeming too palatial to define; our marbles scattered or masks rebuking our
islands while such comforts become prisons; such deacon music or such
ministered chaos at capture and cords; our nerves bleeding our bonds negligent
so feral and ferocious.
It was
a.m. hours those walls were silent and trust would die too early to rebuild. Come
here, Love, I won’t hurt you, I promise. Such terrific ghettoes our faces
upon carpets our screams bottled and forgotten. That serves you good so stop
being stupid and go to your room. A man is so lucky but we always live with
our abusers and so maladjusted. Why won’t you come to me I’m not going to
hit you and stop being so scary. Our dreams for something, something we do
not know, while never asking about other homes.
Are
you hungry, I know what you want, here’s a few bucks? It becomes gray a
child so abject one second and so high on some chili cheese fries the next. Those
whispers in private this rage bubbling where if it exploded mother was a kind
creature. I saw this recently it irked my guts and this behavior came rushing
into focus. We’re all we have in this big world and you don’t want to be
alone. What are they asking at school, are you keeping your business, because
they’ll make you an orphan?
One becomes
something most people watch where feelings arise and though we feel righteous
we soon feel insecurities; indeed, one is then hated or dealing with racial
concerns or meeting some person intent upon bothering us; this pain we violin
this arch we carry where anything glowing is an enemy. Come closely look at
these pictures these were good times. Remember that bike, Love, remember those
good days, I might have something for you? A bit of candy or a bit of money
or some deep fight developing its abusive threads; knitted into comfort, or so
withdrawn, while one is telling you about your behavior. We the hell with
it, you don’t want to be close, I’ll just go in my room. Some behavior a
child shouldn’t endure like this steep emotional tug where one in conscious of
a burdensome obligation: “No, Mommy, I love you.” That’s my boy!
Trillion-dollar
portraits come out of the most hellish fires where a child is left to defend
his brains. I need you to believe I need you to understand I need you to
open up. Indeed, wild game born into wilderness and if done early we can
domesticate them. Or a trusting soul and slapped metaphorically and beaten literally
while one says: Don’t you love me? This cage uncaged, this feral flame
watered and adjusted where a man becomes a watcher of woes.
