I was grinding, a
little slang, I was brain-gone. puffing to see, abed, paranoid, we try to
out-honor each other. he copped a Benz, I never copped a Benz, we sense deeper
animosity. I hit hills, rubbed elbows, an associate made ties with Jerusalem. I
vanished from me, walking to myself, couldn’t but rescue myself; little
summers, gangster winters, a disaster coming to town. we laughed, we chimed, it
was off to Louisiana.
we
had dreams, JZ bought a jet, many paid scholarships, I kept lips locked—I never
held his curiosity, I never told something true, I gave what I needed
distributed. houses in state, garlic for granny, we lost mother: gripping a
doorknob, jutting a doorjamb, a naked body sprawled across white tiles.
needing
championship. aside billions in motion. a little nervousness. most were in
trenches. many asked forgiveness. it’s amazing how many have too much
arrogance. I’ll tell a truth serum, many couldn’t care, couldn’t afford to
carry those. others feel entitled, like break it in half, many of us just
walked away.
a
lady made a mistake. his was not his. broke fire into the lady. treated like a
rival, asking his fame, needing him to catch assassination. pavement men,
asphalt dirt, carrying another’s load.
he
kept screaming. we said silence. it’s too much to watch. most haven’t seen it,
a countenance, an unspeakable face.
misery
is free. he would leave a few there. just to claim top tier. tangible riches,
late night tangerines, early morning eggs. we knew it was over, game was
leaking, too many holes to seal. crazy. like crazy. I listen to details—I see
loops, I see routine mistakes, I hoped for 25.
