eating berries:
raspberries, black berries, mixed with gin, died again. made a man, mother was
aggressive, aging in angst, blasted at corners. glass shattered, people
laughed, it seems desperation is deadly. I giggle back, at my impurities,
watching each thought. it changes countenance, an evil in him, we see it in
him, we shake his ass.
women kissing, men
dancing, many binary souls. I gut my ideals, up bright and early, I shake from
trauma. daughters walking tenets, sons absorbing bibles, our worlds confronted
by pain. a new shirt, barely activated, a new pair of Nike’s. a southern drawl,
confusing vowels, can’t escape one’s genetics.
one false move, I listen,
I play it close to my vest.
a pair of
nightmares, a raw ass soul, they got menacing. pushing pebbles, it became a
legend, he was murdered first fear. it was his own, deeper jealousy, they used
to sip sugarwater—they used to make cinnamon toast. I fear myself, I spin
myself, so tipsy it’s a long ride.
personal: pay
close attention: my confessional.
I was manic. his
tender at home. I spoke with contempt. I mashed like a villain. I ate pork
chops. I saw her face. another tried, I wasn’t wrong. I spoke his honor. the
other told tender. he held a grudge. we deserted ideals. we pinched motives. a
grave close to an arc. a bullet through flesh. I got miracle. he held problems.
it seemed a game. word dropped. many jumped ships. it seems ridiculous. a woman
told me, she rejected invitation, I kept it quiet. another, plainly, he’s disgusting.
I’m wild. I hear but to think. I wonder like I know. damned at it. hit a cut
with it. jumped a fence. crawled under lights. no way out!
I do apologize. I hope
it feels good. crossed a real warrior. I bounce. I shake hands. I hear
thoughts. what is it—is it miracle—is it pathetic? a segue drug, shermed out,
stabbing at 45mph. hit South Bay. hit Ghetto Central. hit Thousand Oaks. I was
brilliant at it. I mashed at it. I was reticent at it. like a 20-year fight,
deep, raw animosity, like friendship with his world. bleeding again, weeping
again, like mother died again.
