I was baptized I guttered
fire it was ghetto beauty—the fields screaming the demons at sinks something in
my damn mirror. I loved mother so much a father so little a great friend. we
sped out doing like 70 agreed to die if challenged in flesh. the loyalty is
unfound, the whistles are by trial, I had to get ghost. I hit class I broke
glass I moved faster—like watching butterflies or palming a bee I was with
needs—like animals so damn hungry I just ate a steak of humility. I can’t rewind
it, it was hell to hear it, it kills what a monster calls normality. moving
into Projects, reading all night, passing out at six in the morning. at
something pressing, something existential—I want to indict love. I have a list,
it’s mandatory, I cover A through Z. behave this way, follow these rules,
despite humanity can’t be defined; watch for my lead, remain perfect, share
with me before you move. or love me be honest with me and work in our best
design. too much vulnerability. I must control what I love. I mustn’t feel as
something too elastic. come to me, I will chastise you, I will regret loving
you. I want to indict
behavior. I want to encourage honesty. I want to laugh at myself. too much
racing at curses eating deception like ruined and feeling good. so much paradox
so little room, while I measure according to what I read. haven’t you seen it?
love as plural, affairs as normal, we immerse ourselves in a universal—the pain
of adolescents the richness in exploration the ghosts we devour. each book with
wings. each curse with song. what I need from you might be for me. just a problem just a
mistake like hearing it too often—the gut ghost the bled fury the sun on
renege.
