fantasies
made visions living incognito. bulls are watching. gnats are swarming. days are
interior. at some point monsters become unsteady, childhood dolls unleash,
memories come in patterns. it seemed like a picnic a patient atmosphere two
artists making harmony. squirrels in scores. leaves laughing. autumn making its
cognition. we will skip the scene, fire beneath oceans, math made irrational. a
dream in a shell next to a cocoon aside homeless giggling. it seems potential
deceives at points. it seems possibilities are alluring. it seems some are
flying. I clean at times. I get lost in thought concentrating on porcelain.
tubs are now made of plastic, thick, irritating plastic. most anything, as in a
claim, a complaint, can be reduced to absurd paranoia. we shouldn’t trust
people with this understanding; we must deal on terms; the world is existential
invisibility. I walked into a scream. I should’ve erased the impression the
mind selects what it holds to. I was getting in order, always getting in spaces,
when newness arrived. a person might do us wrong, we return in sentiment, do we
then apologize? of course, tops spin, we show indecision; a mountain in a beer,
a tub of ice cream in a brownie, an ironclad excuse for lying. many days
thinking of one absent of my life dismissive of my horizon. it shocks to notice
what minds cling to: mysterious dish soap, elongated fingertips, a countenance
ten times more concentrated in certain company. a glance at hurting a person,
something at emotions, agreeing to playing naïve. years of bloodwork, years of
listening, all pivoting on an impetuous move. most forget in moments. it comes
back to an apex. we might shift in our disposition. I vow to leave life at its
helm, to participate not control.
