it might terrorize
us but we claim we need it as some brilliant beautiful bossiness. all day I was
high as some creature it felt good not to feel – as a machine so enlove, I never
felt so much pain. some ironic language some fretting in scissors so cut it
bled out. I can’t describe it, it’s a miracle, I keep sneezing. sugarcane on apples
or pleasure in disgrace, so wild how most feel shame. our bodies our bold
billiards by affection to forgive much of those actions.
I ruined myself. I
became overburdened as overborne. I was close to a person in my skull.
leaves speak to
me. I see faces. I feel like sadness. too much to believe in us so much to
condemn us while one says something is askew.
I can’t fathom why
it happens as a person so excitable like cocaine in our veins. bamboo sticks or
coconut carcasses in some part in me. I can’t say smitten. I can’t say
attraction. I have this woman too plumed in my intestines. I will never see
skies again, I will never drink juice again, I must remodel a manic memory. how
in hell! so much by root. in needs of resurrection.
I was young in life
a bit to scars I projected too much. I thought words meant loyalty I thought
people held to devastation I was forced to realize we travel our orientation.
that face is blurry those omens keep screaming I became an inner ghost. I found
love like truffles or floods as certain an instance.
we hate to discuss
it we hate to relive it but we keep doing it. by rawness by curse by parttime
delights. lime in gin or peaches on pie or steak with a stranger. to have
adored what I couldn’t see to have craved after the seas. like octopus’ hands,
or seahorse memories as in dreams attacked by tiger sharks.
I met her in
trance I was aware I tried to play a guitar. so circumspect too wise to ignore
while I felt so detached. some women make it fair, as to recluse, where it couldn’t
possibly become pleasant. others dance so wildly where it couldn’t be reality.
but a man is his thoughts like whales are their memories or mice are their
mazes.
I must reappear as
to myself while it feels I have lost something pictureless/crucial.
