I felt
so confused, albeit, a core self, while lost in dungeons; ruminating
frustrations, a bit paranoid in thoughts, while creek-talks become blurry; this
furious fever, this atlas autonomy, or those fires flaming into nervousness. It
became tragedy—those lawns in crimson, or outlined auras. (I haven’t forgotten,
so plagued by performance, where I will never claim us; this wrinkled
communication, or this toxic past-life, while flint has become this cage; so
abused he suffers, or so anxious he stumbles, while calibers shift by
psychology. I longed in something, meeting was initial challenge, where it was
dancing to grip correctness; this thing one sees, this backgammon on plays, or
ethics determined by decoration; our moving distance, to sense remodeling,
while accustomed to something too early; so watched these days, forced into
clarity, while a man is fretting his soul. It dies by eclipse it pictures by obsession
where something is turning—this clock, the grandfather settee, where subscriptions
are pricy. If but to adore with silence aside where our papers spoke a cryptic
design; so many random acts or portraits raging fiercely while existence often
feels like jail sinks). the
mud follows, the slugs travel, while a man embodies anguish; or the beauty such
travesty or those hands so gorgeous while early death is rejoicing deaths; this
grave fantasy this moving ghost while talking seems so distressed; something
was ruined—I do admit this—but was genuine assessment every its leader? but a
box, or this other mother, so crossed to have stumbled upon tragedy; such
talkative auras, such deep dark prettiness such roots in this culture or a man
trying to baptize his status quo; this mulatto reality, this mulatto existence,
while it seems I offend others; so accustomed to countenance, his woman so
normal, while needing prose and poetry and power; (to begin with pain, to meet
pain, while attracted to the reflection of pain; while deeply a guardian, while
deeply suspicious, where I must watch for seasons since that last infatuation).
I gilded you. I placed
you on a pedestal. I thought of you as a perfect mistake. I would daydream and
giggle or laugh and cry while furious with my perceptions. I met another, a
stronger frequency while losing I was receiving. There were mental freesias, or
quicksand attractions, where one was askew and his friend was heart. Those furniture
psyches, those tenement depressions, or plainly put, those mania affectations.
Indeed, such configuration or signs of majesty while a person never sees their
beauty. To affect by change to allure good qualities while a man wants to be
the best in you; but humans are fragile and deep designs are courage where a
soul might in order to relocate; such welting suspense, or unlikely eyes, in a
second to erase another person; if music is too gentle, and wine is too heavy,
one retreats into familiar corridors; such magnificent murals, to adore before
dying!
