I used
to do it, resulted in delusion, an administrator of tragedies; such bliss in
finding, such remorse in understanding, while pruning our intuitions; a located
creature, rereading our benefits, estranged from our miseries; moving with
tides, tossed about like ships, while life has made one nauseous; our computer
minds, our hard-drive emotions, so situated in battles; to have adored skin, to
have welted brains, while so adroit it begins its ruins; so accustomed to
silence, so moved to dis-attach, or becoming quite lost.
…those
awesome years, so enthralled, and so chased; such yonic appeal, on this phallus
earth, reborn at seconds; those hectic eyes, stemming but adrift, where each
secret defeats longevity….
I live
a soul, redeemed in supernal, but held to passions by humans; this diamond
pond, listening as ducks sing, while a cedarchest haunts my memories; such
levity those times, asking for submission, while demanding something freely
given; our waiting hearts, rereading what he read, or cautious to see what she wrote;
looking desperately, if but to awaken, this youngster living in him; where one
goes through hell, with self-interests caveats, while the hope is that one
deteriorates and begs; a bit harsh, a bit ruthless, a bit those hospitals.
…defenses
are radical, trust is vetoed, and plain dislike has disturbed the kingdom; but
for instance, a man has nothing, or maybe resilience, and he becomes a target;
a woman has beauty, but has been destroyed, and she is despised for her beauty;
sensing discord, sensing human proclivity, while each person is always justified;
a god complex, while senses are vague, while true thought encompasses a small
hell; those spatial times, needing this choice, where too much becomes a
cascading; those shivers, this something in persons, where sanctity is explored
but hardly a ruling force; this approach to humans, while many are resistant,
or a reenactment of something wall-like; where response takes effort, and
non-response is cold, but either/or is good for research; a number as
comforter, an equation as pillow, while vulnerable but mechanical; this shift
in screams, this debate with colleagues, while effort is invested to get something
out of death; if so be it, a person responds, filled with distress, another
feels triumphant; for example, a person understands normality, another seems to
possess froward characteristics, but these two admire certain elements; this
admiration becomes disgusts, for mirrors are too radiant, plus, each person
feels a particular deficit; those other dynamics, we shall not address, but
each feels smarter than the other; transference is a key, trained minds is a
key, where reaching core-self seems impossible; factors become relevant, but
they seem to provoke, where neither quite cares about discomfort; both have
invested decades, both are numbed, while one desires submission: some type of
performance, something to discredit resilience, something soul related….
…maybe
a tangent, but it seems clear, however, it’s never fully examined; it requires
a book, or a ten page essay, to explain this dynamic; to admire one there, but
to disapprove of one here, becomes this fishing to remain cordial; for it does
not matter, these conflicting traits, we must remember our culture; this
interior black moon, or this psychic administrator, where information into
something is more important than agreement; maybe familiar disdain, triggers
uneasiness, while distant observation offends the science; or maybe some need
anyone’s intimacy, despite ruling dynamics, while clarity points to a massive
illusion; sure to catch hell, but irritation is always present, so we remain
true to our line of catharses….
