10/09/2019
it
gets this way, an heinous gut, a tortured tomorrow—so forgotten, having
fantasies, as seen returning; diamond intestines, forever purgatory, digging
for father; walking damn near dead, too much juice, too many mistakes; our gut
party, our spiritus, this ousia glen; those gates opened, this
flood taken place, those dead men our blood spoke; so damned but speaking, so
acted upon, while I thought for realness; this group, our dead allies, our
curly charms; or dread-fed-out, such gang-crime, with Love acting so innocent;
it frets a heart, this plight lake, at algae and algebra or so lost in puce—acting
with Love, something so taint; such glitter wombs, so precise and rising, while
warring hard-store this bestial life; at terrible feelings, at gut reeling(s),
while this rut has survived. (such mystic aches forbidden to feel but alive a
thought for glass; such to shatter, water brass and sand, plus, a mini-shark);
those years so young, looking at maniacs, but mother so sweet this fate; as no
escapes those reframed violins at mountains and telling Jesus. (dinner with
losing, watching our movement, attacked by his own brains; searching musicals,
listening to opera, so teary so advertised at a manic laugh; so social, so
mechanic and Lord heard him; a video in me, a father in me, plus, a
mathematical curse in me).
10/10/19
I restarted
life, effaced in some parts, but California is home; rereading some critical
history, these critical theories, while we determine where blacks fit in; this
need for language, but who’s language, where Greek Syntax takes precedence;
this talk we jive, this literature base, while prominence tells us to master
their language; an old debate and looking at their women as if she belongs to a
specific group. I wander further, analyzing something vague, we tend towards
strangers; a quick test a quicker smile encouraged to move gently; as bedroom
animals inclined to have our sanities while losing parts of this inner reign. I
wander further, making distinctions, as one embedded in both sophisticated
whites and blacks; our women, as speaking in general, sensing some more
relaxed, even natural; this chase in time this glass with sparkles seated in Del
Amo ten minutes into a stranger; such mature rights such endless glances while
something deliberate is made to appear as innocent; it takes skillset, where we
appreciate, as opposed to becoming weary; a woman my culture, made for passion,
longing for this perfect future; to select, as not based upon partners, but
more this chase for indemnity; as cruel feelings or deeper upheavals where
something has been distracted; so off-track, so unbelievably gorgeous, our
rights our minds, our departure.
I drift
to induction, this harpoon of facts, where deduction is practiced more often;
to give one ribbons, to then wrap our gift, whereas, to open said gift and demand
a refund; for some gifts hurt, especially, when tangible, where indifference
doesn’t make it disappear. This life of feelings, our variant sophistications,
or our needs for a mature partner. This ensuing war, this battle ground, this
metaphysical reign; insomuch as solicited this pearl encyclopedia if but to angle
something promising; those screaming traits made so valiant at tears and charms
our sights so vague; wherein we reappear as once lost creatures finding our
existence in an alarming woman; as sirens are blaring, those yards on lockdown,
and musicals arise from our sun; as distinctive creatures made powerful by life
and hence knitting softly our successes.
