I bled life, this midnight sun, this room
of ghosts—those bleeding begonias, this wedding in jails, or
paranoid/schizophrenic nightmares: this psych drilling, this insolent curse, or
those rabid feelings: to get so close, this brain in Jesus, or those release
dates from hospitals: our rapture, our ecstasies, or this mystic investigator:
to slither in mud, as becoming this bark, our branches dangling apples: this
winter’s apes, this cape with gin, or granny dying asearch for freedoms: that
black moon, this benighted castle, or brains screaming at Kanye: this Kim
enterprise, this J.Z. dilemma, or Beyoncè at tender bridges: to fall about
tales, to rise about daughters, or this mestizo
blinking into a frenzy: our carved hopes, this woodblock city, or this
terrible vixen providing comforts—to die as womb driven, this dayfly gravity,
this zest zeal and chorus.
I push harder, fleeing into forests, at
trials this ghetto meadow: this brook shining, this diamond breathless, or guts
to sunshine: to crutch with vengeance, to prove agonies, while fretting for
foraging butterflies: indeed, for game, indeed, for rain, while Love felt
anguish to cheat: this crafted cymbal, to cipher through psychs, or to intuit a
subtle intensity: this radical habit, this knitting with courage, to invest in
venom this devastating outcome: those fertile blotches, this black aimless, or
persons screaming at Bipolar Disorder: this inner Jesus, those grandiosities,
or this field of nonsense: our trips to France, pitted at computers, where such
was terrific: those days at tears, this ink fretting his guts, this gallon by
miracles: to love and adore, this precious being,
this palm of babyhood: if but a halo, or trickling divinity, where mother
is reluctant.
I felt Ghosts, I saw Demons, I became as
losing this arm to violence: this feeling, this treachery, this remorse: as screwing
our worlds, while ashamed of such blaspheme, where apologies denote this
intricate deception: as trying for beacons, or living for perfections, while
gramps discerns a web of vipers: this millipede crawling, this swan dancing,
this miracle laughing: such fruitage vibes, this undergrowth undulation, while
mother succeeded suicide: that wonderful soul, that insidious soul, where it
felt good to have breakfast: if but to live, where others have died, this
pitching of balloons: this kettle screaming, this human failing, this father at
grills: (it felt good, this puma talking, this cougar at diamonds: this inner
genius, this genetic curse, or more to lights this immortal humility: to cut
bones, to garner sinews, to become this army of warriors: our Ezekiel habits,
our Jeremiah sadness, or this fantastic, Lamentations:
where cousins drip, as flooding guts, to ruin for tortures this feel-good
entourage): our brains, Love, this portal in skies, this dimension those years
at prisons: this mental jaguar, this city of pheromones, or this elegant
pantomime—insofar as lethal, this plate of visions, this ant speaking tongues:
this soul-equator, this irresistible woman, or this fragrant rehab.
I spoke hospitals, ashamed of treacheries,
while looking at dementias: this fool to pains, this reign as dying, or this
perspective achieving insanities: those bleeding plums, this formidable
apricot, or this man speaking to widows: as screaming, Jesus, and looking at Jesus, while Israel forfeits it ownership:
this gutted trial, this fabulous loss, or our daughters attempting to discern:
this passage by rites, this miracle firefly, and this Mental Rock: to live that
reality, or die hurling reality, while discarded as demonic: our rosary prayers,
this granite earth, or this tale by Rooks: those splaying mantis, this
sandstone catastrophe, while seated at internal wine-rocks—as granny laughs, to
feel her youth, while a bit too one-sided: those Baroque Pearls, this golden lantern,
or this pendant that anklet—where mother is serious, to sense this healing, as
becoming this leviathan: to drill brains, at such brilliant value, a man to his
cursed wars: this intimate creature, this first matriarch, where psychs laugh as
dying going for battle.
