Beige: “I don’t feel like me. I fear
something has changed, something essential.”
Therapist: “We change in
life, dependent on where we are at, Is the change good? Tell me what it feels
like.”
Beige: “It feels like difference inside,
detachment, pure observation. It’s noticeable, intentionally, showing something
is missing, edging me into debate with myself.”
Therapist: “Do you feel
possessed?”
Beige: “No! I feel like something inside
of me is agitated. Something has grown into another level of consciousness.”
Therapist: “Have you been
involved in anything new? Are you worried about anything?”
Beige: “I’ve been concerned about the
afterlife. I’ve been thinking on it. But this isn’t a presence of mind, it’s a
presence of interior, something looking, fidgeting, anxious, moody – it’s me –
I can feel me, and something new.”
Therapist: “It sounds like
growth. Growth often comes with a challenge, the new is pushing at the old,
blending, or there is an overthrow of the old thoughts. This causes friction. You
have to adjust to it, and try to determine what your consciousness is telling
you. Have you felt this in the past, during a difficult or trying time?”
Beige: “At different points in life, I’ve
felt this way. It’s just a little heavier now.”
Therapist: “Do you find joy
in it? Does it hurt you?”
Beige: “Ironically enough, at points, it
offers satisfaction, but I refuse the delusion. In this refusal, it causes
distress.”
Therapist: “Something in
you is moving. Something is probing you. You need to figure out what this
something is. I would start by examining anything new, difficult, anything
showing resistance to the old person.”
Beige: “It seems something is watching,
alert, maneuvering, calculating, also, influenced by consciousness.”
Therapist: “Consciousness
is a vast topic. Much has been discovered where it stands. Maybe do a search,
and see if you can uncover more on the matter. For now, try not to overthink
it, rather, feel out where things are changing, and walk through the process.”
