unlatched,
given to agonies, plush carpet, rushing rivers, through tender crevices; the
person that died, the old body, a newer self—as it wills itself, against its
will, trying purity, acting against itself. no true mystery—the mind requires
training—the body desires what it feels. what I will to do, I do not. what I
will not to do, that I do. for that reason, trust is pivotal and volatile,
as held in jeopardy—because—it is hard to act against something acting against,
or with, the human will. the will is alert, eager, searching for pleasures,
sensations, motivated by its lusts. to resist it is painful, whereby, most
resist pain, as the primary motivation is for happiness; no one, unless
disciplined, or younger, deliberately enters into pain seeking. the will seeks
to enhance its access to happiness, serving what brings joy, in an immediate
sense, whereby, the immediate, often becomes long-lasting, even, seemingly,
permanent. with willing as with or against one’s inclination, comes the
component of conscienceness; if the conscience is clear, one knows faith is
at work. we presume that if the conscience is unclear, then faith has been
weakened, as from behavior, as being out of alignment with itself. the beauty
is when the conscienceness still effects the personality, still influences
behavior, for once the conscience dies out, the beast takes over: each person
has one trying to take control of the inner vehicle. it seems a mute
discussion, while it’s a necessary discussion, where many are acting on will,
either for self or against self.
