so filthy, lost in
angels, a thousand on cigars. removed from self, one frank succession, one
murky hat—the gangs trying harder, it becomes money, wilding out, like courage
is illegal. I spin at it, like Scarlett at it, riding at it. “You like white
women?” I haven’t seen color, with loins afire like spark-works. another move,
just purchased a nightmare, raiding my countryside. many miles, a cavottas,
looking clean as cops. they never knew, wishing death on those afar, plain in a
Lexus. I heard father died, I lost imagination, it hurts we never hung out. bleached
skin, bleached language, too damn bleached for me. I took a drag, I inhaled,
like lungs are young forever. a dirty mentality, a clean conscience, such a contradiction.
too many at it, I was shocked, Kristen became what was longing inside.
9:09 a.m. too
tipsy, been awake all night, talking to an Asian Puerto Rican. I mash out, hit
Sunset, like a demon entered his casket. aflame, laughing, wondering if she understood
pain. asking questions, like moving questions, at art like I have a damn
problem. masked out, glassed out, trash to the curb, out.
I can’t say that,
as if it’s crazy, I never needed marriage—until she appeared. the aches we
endure, those trials we undergo, like Lucy was innocent.
our age tripping
on pimping, everyone a treasure, I do it to impress a fucking stranger. I mash
off, much respect, try not to be disgusted with another man’s success.
a new Benz, he was
alive, his friend asked to covet more of what sustained him.
