I’ve doted
silently, with embarrassment at heels, beauty is made deplorable. thus, endless
weeks, ruminating on senses, debating self-worth. something fleeting has
meaning, something cruel gets more attention, with words unable to dissuade the
course. one goes on at times, he says radical things, he swears he would do
better. much is decided on excellence, (the reason we lie), we need to feel
picture perfect. I’ve doted silently, assessing lies, knowing—it’s swift to the
loss. a person wins for a reason, the one has earned it, maybe appearance is
most fetching, maybe muscles and gristle and gorgeous features—along with eyes
and chin, and perfect hair. what we’d do for a chiseled body!
julep flowers, or
a julep drink, something julep. a sentence meaning nothing, conjuring its
images, aesthetic in its appeal. many are on this path, having their substance,
where it’s not efficient. practiced habits become second nature, it’s harder to
believe at times.
while in the midst
of it, one has much to say, until it works in one’s favor. the preacher becomes
the lover, the deacon becomes the look out, the mistress becomes unfulfilled.
I noticed
something, it’s easygoing until more is demanded—then it’s off to a similar
situation. the second pays the fair for the first, the first comes back later. so,
I see it in disrepair, I vanish, it rebuilds, I’m allowed to return—of course,
it must never become human. this is a legendary flame.
indeed, the air is
rich, coming from a sinner, most don’t desire to feel unwelcomed, begging for
torture, but the vanity! the sensuous mechanics, raiding our brains, things we
otherwise wouldn’t tolerate. placed in hands, encouraged to suffer, alienated
against ourselves. most see it as devastation.
I have not a
remedy, nor appeasement, many understand closely.
