let it bounce—threaded
by a million souls at traffic like addicts. wisdom suffocated, commonsense
explodes, just need it like fiends. at inner phantoms, removed from normality,
many died trying harder for strangers.
scratched flesh,
went deeper, amazed how it becomes evident. sort of heavy headed, sort of trite
at times, it’s crazy confusion. jeans fraught with water, rain falling hells, a
haven would heal for moments.
real life toil,
uneasy, sipping like it’s disgusting.
emotion becomes
nauseous. took two steps, rushed to the toilet, the trail, the odor. heaving
from despair, never what they call it, hated by reflection. the keel is broken,
it’s not simple, when it hits.
out the trenches.
had met him earlier years. he was prophetic crazy. so abject, slamming his
wrists, bibles sprawled across four rooms. possessed. speaking fast. detached
from his own eyes.
put hands on us,
shooting volts, I tried to tell him it isn’t unusual. so grandiose, such a
claim, “God is here.” I said, “God is busy!”
inkprints. wood panels.
softer, nonchalant explanations—like please examine your voices.
I remember Nietzsche.
I reread chapters by Sartre. it seems too much. putting cities at it. relocated
inside. a demon life, trying to repent, I’m like damn, what have I done?
water falling,
smirking, looking at a beast—a holy machine.
if to explain:
both sides carry similarities, a false dichotomy can’t work, we drove down
south. I asked like sickly. I watched like hungry. I saw bodies, eyes, pure
rabid possession, an outsider.
much terror in me,
I hear darkness in me, I can’t fulfill all the rules in me. I fret over dice,
not a game, the prediction. I asked God, I heard intuition, I turned millions
in prayer. so untold, so damn old, granny went to heaven!
I know it. went
there for it. how to alienate raw experience?
I place some on a
pedestal. I push others away. we often, unnecessarily, congratulate our skills.
real life toil,
uneasy, sipping like it’s disgusting.
