…our
report cards, our gravid parents, this liquor, this stench: our growling
charges, this inner spirit, this remote feeling: as seasoned by deaths, or bleached
in insanities, above a falcon mare: this soul-life, this blinking insanity, to
remember years of freebasing: this small vessel, so at energies, pleading our
Holy Ghost: this woman dying, beat into submission, and raped by gang violence:
our days through gates, our fears through majesties, our reckoned hours by
suicides: this ghetto affair, this eighties heartcore, this war to exist while
collecting rent: this trick for treats, this treat for tricks, or music
plat-forming sentiments: our lavish fathers, those mis-informed soldiers, this
month to turning women out: this son with tentacles, this mystic with webs, our
weeks to concentration: to shift another soul, to Adore ghetto fabulous, a bit frigid for academia: this blessing,
this womb, this perfect shallowness: if but to reckon, this told legend, this
mis-identification: to possess fruits, this inner person, to adventure where
life has evolved: this centered light, this romantic ensemble, or by tears
confessing something too gentle: as losing reality, dependent upon sentiments,
where rugged appreciates concrete: our purple hopes, this forever charm, this
you in me or nothing…. I space with
ships, I dine with phantoms—I’m lonely for a Bipolar 1: indeed, insane,
laughing at ghosts, while listening to walls: too crazed for daughter, and too
mean for mother, this soul offending families: if but too normal, this clashing
mirror, as told normal reflects Us: this
radiant closure, this instant gratification, or this sewer becoming our Kingly
Brides: to forget with love, to form pyramids, where behavior becomes
paramount: as never forgiveness, for perfect doesn’t make mistakes, while we
glance an image of this ceiling: our inner hospitals, that outer tower, and
those brilliant escapes: this wounded woman, this cold stream, or this attempt
to purchase realities: this vest with slices, this heart of mice, this florid
invention: as mother freebases, as father snorts lines, where high-school
became this tortured silence: this home of orphans, this widow window, this
widow grief—while succeeding at deaths, this blonde teacher, those tremendous
disclosures: to form a thought, this belly of beasts, gawking at horrid
kangaroo courts: those wise souls, at hatred’s door, while pounding upon ghostly
temples. I took to pain, to expose
such pain, where pain became normal: this horrific reality, this tragic
mistake, or this life too ashamed of blacks: this pure perfect pilgrim, this
musical mystic maiden, or rolling for riven as riding torments: our precise
confessions, our closets as unseen, this remarkable future: our rooms with sex,
our wives at work, or our husbands so enlove as so en-castled: to dream this
reality, while chasing miracles, to spend eternity at love with demons: this
form as loose, this gravel as insidious, this elucidation as tragic: where
souls writhe, where souls grin, while many would scream, Touché! (…at Love was
hell, this constant reminder, as sudden upon pregnancy: I thought to pills, I pondered infection, I became silent: at terrible
confusion, this nine in a half term, this witnessed excitement: this selfish,
jealous soul, this world of vultures, this sudden eruption: our brains upon
hangers, our shelves bleeding paint, as mantels craved this sort for insanity:
this passive father, this passive grandfather, this passive reality: as jewels
to snakes, as maybe his child, to erupt into sheer fury: this blue blackened
moon, this rapper’s profanity, this R&B travesty...). I watch inconsistencies; I think to
this dis-ease; I remember pure delusions: to puff a cigar, thinking to cancer,
while tugging, nonetheless—as met this psych, to ponder greatness, this pool of
competitors: our jasper eyes, our jasmine garlands, or this jacinth horizon:
where Love’s forgiven, this sinning miracle, this miracle catastrophe: this
inverted paradox, this miracle child, as beautiful as stripped and mangled and
uprooted our gutted concretes.
