I get
alienation, resistant and distant from self, or silence needing music: so
alienated from nature, songbird, and feeling arbitrary: to palm evidence, to
give credence, to know alienation: this personal possession, this unseen
actuality, this abstract internality those motions: to demand a different
feeling, to rely upon an abstract creature, or invest in moral dictums: thereinto,
this floating matrix, at coarse eyes, distressing femininity: too subjective,
while defending certain rights, like this inherency in omission: this body by
memories, this connecting synaptic gap, while connectedness forms its various
fences: bought and centralized, so beautiful while sinning, so alive while
winning: this false capacity, this cave in society, this city traffic dispenser:
our arrogant gaits, or humility for credits, where we need souls to function. I
thought philosophy; I found deep distraction; I saw something determined in
intellectual existence: I read Nietzsche, Kant, King, and a series of this
interior reservoir: a leader fighting for air-packages, redeemed at intervals,
up against something failing his sensitivities: rereading patience, bred for
something chaotic, while caring for an infant: but if death was sweet, if death
wasn’t bitter, we would opt for this chasm of darkness: but pain is vocalized,
it demands attention, so we seek the greatest amount of joy for the greatest
amount of bystanders: or we opt for something noble, something aristocratic, or
we demean this person we walk into: those closet spaces, those owl eyes,
encouraged to deceive our reflection: at inner circles, defined by outer
processes, or so close this end as sleepy: flying gently, or landing softly,
with this thirst to abate our injuries: such driving intellect, such hubris
castles, or so proud of one so blind to taste: our illusions, fighting for
variegated reality, too close for a wife’s comforts: our science labs, our
rickety tables, at a footstool debating its authenticity: this mind channel,
this game at five, this armchair warrior.
…that
essence, by which forms a smile, that radiant ousia; to give existence,
in exchange for existence, by which the two become one: indwelling permanence,
our standards elevated, our destruction by wild hyenas: to garner trust, to sip
garnet, or Love is abstinent and flaming with Kabala: better senses, or better
selves, while receiving becomes deep humility: our cognition as precedence, our
cogitation as motive, our correct language disturbing our inner chamber: (so
close to rethinking, adjusting moral precepts, where for her a man restates his
previous leaves: this crazy labor, this means before ends, or so close we gloss
over something devastating: our harvested ears, our threshing eyes, while a man
tries to believe it will not end today!).
I
read a few thoughts, by an obscure teacher, this ‘thing’ as above and beyond:
our minds feeling its division, our rebel instincts harvested for centuries,
while an agouti cares more about peaches.
…deeper
intellect, social citation, becoming an esteemed member by church: those deductive
proofs, if but found valid, whereby, one accepts those premises: inductive us,
this celebration, while harboring something that destroys: or running this
challenge, rebuking all opalescence, where a thirst for right-living overrides play-acting:
our sawdust enchiladas, our theorems to live forwardly, or wretched obedience
churning into tumors: this panicky tremor, this deeper problem, taking
something for balance while it slowly uproots: as created cognition, desiring
power, while drenched shattering echoes a penchant for freedom: reading Seneca
in passing, or at a library, musing over Nietzsche’s poetry: once so young, a
pure amateur, as now so tiger: our empirical sensories, our empirical
experiences, our empirical interiors: so real to cognition, but so real before
thought, while concretized by rich emotion….
