…so
ghostly, Love, so embedded, Love, a man, a tent, swarming with demons, Love:
mommy’s stomach, those nine months, feeling his heartbeat: at liquor with
fears, abandoned and winning, lost and found—those treacherous innuendoes, this
treacherous pigeon, while flapping frantically: as abused and haunted, or
relieved this family, as such a mystery: for pain is wretched, but pain
instructs, at exercises forty years gunning: those small concerns, those
oddities ignored, at vanguard militias: broken and flying, at coarse regards,
but a mere pedestrian: as reaching and lost, speaking but unheard, at one
particular psychiatrist: a tenth of mine, a fifth of yours, where reading
brings us closeness: those dramatic insights, as pursuing your brains, so easy,
so hard, so emphatic: at gramps a loser, at granny a kinsman, at souls
surviving: this house at loneness, those streets calling, this theologian
resisting: those prisons relived, this gangly Mia, this caged bird: at deaths
with Kierkegaard, at life with Malcolm, or debating with legends: this naked
shirt, as speaking your name, so respected for honesties: this panting by
funerals, this American prayer, while souls are elated about Obama: your soul
dragging, as appointed to its debut, or solace upon a lonely mountain: if but
this world given, nay, taken by men: this woman’s culinary, this woman’s
backdrop, or courage a swan those difficult decisions: as purchased by pain, or
relentless with struggle, to revive a centered belief: our mothers so calm, their
music solitary, those rudiments seeming appealing: but arms are restricted, and
time is laughing, this feeling those years running ten globs strong: if but
needed, sensing chasms, to glance upon a Jesus loss: feeding guts, sipping
apricots, to taste with fear this destiny: those real missions, this well willing, as arising at pentacles—this
bullet prayed insanity, those clocks speaking Egyptian, our rakes seeming
important…. …we adore our guts,
sprayed by interior fates, so simple at seconds: those years your yokes, this
pleasant address, our parents evaluating constantly: at wars deadly, at battles
whispering, at gates crashing compounds: our burning eyes, our viselike
decisions, at inter-psychic debates: at living fruits, partaking lightly, while
headed to home-base: at mental bats, those black creatures, to converse with
God’s cousin: such paranoia, such cold hallways, to enter slamming those doors:
this feeling, Love, this fool, Love, as never such work to receive a grunion,
Love: at realization, to question our behavior, to wonder if racism plays its
parts: those inner mermaids, that rabid rabbit, at engines but metaphor—those
curses, this anathema, while bishops are retreating: a man hated, for mere
truths, while insistence plays its harp: our behaviors consistent, our
burn-marks insistent, while stepfather realizes but maintains silence: this
revving consent, this raging force, while one person rejoices: as Judah goes to
war, Benjamin follows, our Levites consecrate a thousand deaths: Jezebel rages,
Elijah stands firm, where dogs suckled her bones: our dying kings, our
repenting Ahab, (our remised Isaiah), fleeing into a field of adversaries:
those crazed times, this Debra prophetess, this Huldah prophet: at Thecla’s
courage, at Lidia reborn, but ours is too abrasive to meet in person…. …use
your brains, study your environment, learn to see through private properties:
those feelings regained, those tunes seeming personal, where love is challenged
through acceptance: to side for primacy, to accept each clause, while something
dies a smidgen:
this stress upon oneness, this falling to floors, this emotional blackmail:
where true love agrees, void of validation, where only one person rejoices: at
deep resistance, shunning reason, while sticking to superglue: this space
dissention, but overtly obedient, where something apparent is demonized: this
space in rockets, this temper in fools, while never a devastating slight: but
time is cruel, where rules are forsook, and closeness gives reason to adhere:
these years, those disasters, while one person feels ecstatic: thereinto, this
solemn truth, words cannot outwit behavior.
