I
lost sights, this gee mentality, this dragging ghetto, this flourished
insanity: those dark roses, this purple rain, this grit towards our church
grounds: this old behavior, this tear to souls, this resonant heart: our
captive days, our captive swans, this granny doing nights in purgatory: to
sense this father, this pimp by screams, this man turning mother out: our years
to cocaine, our armor to heroine, our skies to chronic: this vacation, to sense
such doubts, as remaining this immortal stranger: at Jesus with Logic, at
Yahweh with pleads, as torn this Holy Ghost tragedy: our psychs to liquor, our
therapists to pills, this lowly creature aiding a psychopath: this frightened
language, this man sane as torn, this river as hard to Digest: this remaining silence, this thrill for rollercoasters,
this old friend at guts: our Mongolian Moons, our Mongolian Sun, or this
Mongolian trespass—as built an edifice, this mystic mistake, this mystic
ecstasy: our fathers dying, our men underrated, our shrills to boards that screech:
this academic, this feeling with Ingrid, this lather claiming Theresa: this telic
anvil, this loud resonance, this person shearing tendencies: this psych-shop,
this woman at ends, or threshed for laughing feeling psychotic: this overseer,
this mother cleaving, or this change by honors to a private mirror: to treasure
existence, this tulip blasted, this daisy ecstatic. I lost for game, this flimsy gut, this
reckless portal: at Irish Literature, or Danish Rites, while grinning with this
German: our Pollock grains, our souls controlled, despite, this history of
chaos: (this immortal daughter, this immortal cheetah, those spots too engraved
for freedom): this quadroon, this loveable creature, this step-father majesty:
our gramps laughing, while sipping Kool-Aid, while mourning that first blast:
our years backwards, our tyrannies as reserved, to feel by angst this inability
to brag on daughters: this precious vehicle, this facing reality, this claim as
sewn to dung: to figure passion, this inner Lucifer, this darkness as Light
inverted: this dearth of goodness, this
immortal lightning, this vajrayana catastrophe:
those rabid dangers, this little vehicle, while Buddha churns laughing at
hypocrisies: this great massacre, this inner Valentine, this mental Al Capone:
this gee mentality, this ghetto as breathing, to lose with angst laughing at
Jesus: our brains gone, our bars as identities, this game as floored but
attractive: this sip with vengeance, this Scar Face Dilemma, or days to
pleading Bugsy’s Resurrection: this Malibu House, this Pacific Reality, this
Santa Monica hijack: where brains do infinity, dying those prisons, where years
become this Muslim Sage: our arts to panic, our souls too graphic, this
daughter too involved: this granny at cigars, this mother at ecstasy, this
father at Coronas: where Naïve rages, while seen as baboons, living this fair
fantasy: our mystics as beautiful, this yogi as terrific, or this man finding
reasons to exonerate raw behavior: either/or,
this Kierkegaardian Pursuit, this Danish Writing, this well freaking at
brains: that small fire, to illume with tragedies, this woman our guts before
this audience—this mule laughing, this prophet kicking, this literature as
ill-advised: that blackened disposition, this man to dungeons, this daughter
partaking of this tragedy: to move with stealth, while retreating with grit, at
love at women too to depression: this livid arc, to invade with agony, while
combed for slaughtered and resurrecting: this new body, this cloud meeting,
this dark illusion: to hate St. Paul, while to adore his literature, while to
submit to such reasoning: this Episcopalian nightmare, this Woman Priest, at
tears to realize our Aunties’ Realities: those alleys demented, this goat
screaming insensitivities, this sheep becoming father’s shepherd: as tales
speak about violence, as mothers endure rapes, while grandmother sprinkles
hundreds: this soul running, this mother to detriments, this psych to reliving
interior chaos: our grannies cooking, our gramps tickling, our daughters
introduced to subtleties: this mother grinning, this mother laughing, this
mother mourning.
