…it’s
by treason, this inveterate joy, as coming into time: this dead man, to sudden
upon life, whining and grinning: this baffling flower, this hour to sin, this
curse to time.
…we
kneel to justice, our lot to souls, our brains to pressure: this fabulous
feeling, this shifty feeling, this nervous feeling: our burgundy ears, this
fable with lime, this cable gutting infinity: our polite séance, this polite
response, and still, this abnormal label: for days are grim, while thoughts are
lethal, to travel so far in one instance: this bleeding jackal, this laughing
hyena, this rapacious caiman: to fury in seconds, our chins fluid, our music as
tranquil: our nights to acacias, our hearts to courtships, our beliefs proven
us as boring: this need for thrills, this potential experience, this playful
toddler: our tambourines, this symbolic tribalism, this mystic universe: to
decode Jesus, or wrestle with Yahweh, our hips located upon crooked lines: to
hallow brains, this mental pothole, this spiritual diesel: our denim mistakes,
our lively indebtedness, at courage faced by beasts. I feel old, I feel young, I feel distorted
with grime: our cloudy mountain, as ravished by science, where unlearned
innocence leads to superstitions: this magical wood, this lyrical harp, this
misunderstood chemistry: as Slovakian women, or German Amazons, or Jewish petite
gowns: this caged insanity, this Danish Pride, this Irish Religious: while
repeating life, or getting closer, where thrills become torments: this ghetto
misfit, this classic essence, this blood boiling brilliance: this crafted
science, this precious death, this remote daughter: this granny wisdom, those
observant cousins, this intractable client: as needing a grudge, as sought by
retrieving, to shift a cordial countenance: this woman at cores, those thoughts
as waves, this feeling as foreign: It
isn’t me, this prehistoric crest, this festive Babylon: our Nebuchadnezzar, our
palms creeping into daylight, this mystic soul as never a mystic soul: but deep
satori, or mental meditation, to zero-in with just one thrust: this magnet
dying, those children laughing, that newborn with music: this infant toddler,
standing those first steps, while holding to an oaken trestle: this height as
enormous, this feeling as deadly, this curse as inverted: our wasted time, our
rich hostilities, our wives as warriors: this friendly insanity, this psychotic
feature, or our years to reading what we ignore: those luscious apricots, this
opal plum, those exotic fruits: to kiss as lonely, to die this infraction, as
to awaken shortly our capture: this damned introject, as battling for years, but
too afraid to answer to psychs: this nonchalance, this pulling at leviathan,
this Jobian activity: this cultic war, this deep understanding, or this ability
to conjure fire: those well-deep eyes, this aggravated stance, those plurality
thoughts: this prehistoric lighter, this postmodern jaguar, this inability to
approach sex as mere happenstance: this doodling frenzy, this fascination with
houses, this inner architecture: to die as exhausted, this woman’s precious
arms, this inability to collapse therein.
I know your arts, this welt to webs, this grinding maniac: this
lucid woman, this feral dream, this composure while hell is activated: those
dear capacities, this thrusting ability, this formable yogi—or dreamt as
mystics, or certain as Buddhists, to admit a man with nearly a clue: that
Catholic countenance, or that Synagogue Cabala, thrashed for ruined while
rebuilding faith: our sky-famished eyes, our sky-famished voltage, this
treasure by repercussions: to discuss motives, this untrusting soul, this
person far beyond our scope: this passionate life, this need for reservoirs,
but this realization that humans are rarely receptive: this terrible
confliction, this need for hostility, this knowing concerning this sensitive
disposition: those years to perfection, this thing as needing more, this cursed
religion: our passions failing, our screams waning, our arts at dear
confessions: this gravel ingested, this winning position, this steep sacrifice.
