We
die so gently.
I’m tippy nightmares, staring at
Happy-Face-Spiders, to envision this life: our sluggish nature, this casual
address, this six-seven Amazon: our terrible cries, our larva cultures, this
bleeding songstress: as terrific crimes, or mothers needing fathers, or fathers
needing mothers. I die at love, this
complex vehicle, while undergirt with sin: this Shen Yun adventure, this
carnival at dawn, those threads cemented in arthritis: our sharks roaming, this
mental fruit bat, our restless scholars—if but to exist, as crazed this
fantasy, lingering in turquoise shadows: that dream kicking, this apparatus
flipping, those keen disciples wrestling sexuality: our blues blazing, our jazz
becoming Chinese, this spectacle alerting sensitivities: as broken drinks, this
cocaine line, our mornings filled by regrets: if but as sung, to die as living,
this circus chasing his dreams. I ache a
swan, thrust with silence, laughing for pretending but normal: those watery
eyes, as but a gesture, while addicts adore his guts: this faux pas, this
inverted taboo, this island of insect rites: our iguana pains, our lizard
tongues, this passion hating incipience—as pure this villain, or rabid for
forgiveness, or repenting by paying alms: our nuns with child, our priests with
bishops, our mothers as harboring suicides: our bathing in hospitals, this mean
tendency, our probes seeking anger: that tatted resentment, this inner
jealousy, as needing to vet resilience: those flying kettles, this species by
men, our millipedes stressed for structure: as crying women, or seething men,
this battle to maintain our nucleus. I
adored instance, those Fiji dreams, those wasps as but by days: to ache his
life, or cut his Spanish, where screams flooded her membranes: that rapid
hatred, those in-current voices, this ghost as embedded our DNA: to float as
sinning, while cultured as Queens, fiddling this morning gecko; whereupon, this
England flower, this Hawaiian beadle, our Egyptian lions: if but for deaths, to
die by wombs, this dream as repenting such sensations: our vessels demanding,
this place we can’t see, this harvest we refuse to cherish: as mere seahorses,
or incorrigible villains, but a thought to pretending our innocence: as
returning but crime, or dying our sentence, at love demanding ironies. I chased for essence, this sky by deserts,
this ceiling-falcon—as plucking feathers, to flourish vultures, where love
cried as tender lessons: that fevered cadenza, those delicate pianists, this
sunlight favored at her horizon: whereunto, this library of screams, this
glance by pigeons, our snails repeating their journey: to live incarnation,
while livid this existence, praying for peaceful footlights. It becomes this vice, at love for sex, while
confusing deep intensities: our bodies clashing, this storm intrusive, our
cries while wild our deaths: this wretched damsel, this violent retraction, our
trapeze rebuking psychs: those fragile investigators, those rugged warriors,
this voice in souls demanding such indemnity: thereupon, this casual
resistance, as aglow this office, where unsaid psychs were fully prepared: to
crave love, while resenting love, where it feels good to loosen insanity: that
carved feeling, those indebted villains, this atypical fear outlined in
attraction. We live this voice, to know
by feelings, as reasoning that such-to-such was affective: this changed
persona, this cautious creature, this steep investigation—as meeting strangers,
at wild impasses, to question with vice this mysterious language: that cutting
demand, those florid dreams, this personality insisting on authentication:
hitherto, this silent stream, this vicious mother, this addict contagion: as
Love whispers, this gazing into Vietnamese, while cultic for rites at tortures
this island: our countless fixities, this purified garden, this essence by this
seventh gate: while unmoved, sprinting as tadpoles, about as evil as goodness would demand: this plural
attraction, this vest as tormented, our days to lusting by first glance: those
crazy persons, this livid design, our credenzas bleeding.
