Loving you was easy; before sheer chaos, certain reigns. Loving you was adventure; before the greater sacrifice. I remember our song, shared between us, so addicted to you. Everything holds memories; life is stranded, hitch hiking, reminiscing with strangers; to travel away, forbidden to leave, raptured and ruptured, sheer uneasiness. I hear things are rocky. Such vanity in you, a selected creature should feel proud. Enough of that. I begin to fret remorse—accustomed as it seemed—to life, love, and acts. I sense you—maybe reading, knowing—it’s a longer road. Always pleasant. Always sullen. A craving for liquor; a sin to feel sober. Ensuring I wouldn’t; ensuring the day would meet with kef. I try to see it—the long greetings, the misty eyes, a cloud hovering over heads. If to give something in return; if the wailing would cease. I know it’s confusing—wrestling with cravings, trying to be what others desire. The veil fell. You stood there naked. I was shocked. Such family history. Mother didn’t like you. To pair me with some other creature. I venture to believe in you; to measure against reality a song and its sentimentality … pausing to rewind it. So devastated! So emphatic. Sweet love. Sweeter vinegar. In adoring what fails, in loving our nature, to surrender to utter heartbreak.
