…feel
me in whispers, this dark mask, this dark aura: our makeup bleeding, our
mascara leaking, to ass-out bent with liquor: those precious foot-grinds, those
ink-prints, this casual, reserved, full pledged maniac: at tears for Jesus, at
remorse for Yahweh, while becoming this mini-ghost: our noble instincts, our
freaked brains, at life about a thousand percent—while sun is falling, this
grass is screaming, our psychs to silence: those days, those problems, this
piece slipping—into total darkness, that small light, at grains and beef and a
soldier's bones: at living expenses, this half way through, looking forward
that tribunal: to yell, Manic!, to
plead forgiveness, to war with God: indeed, a sick image, but please imagine,
exactly how it serenades: those ontic tales, this ontic bath, those ontic
damsels: so ontological, so existential, at coffee sipping gin: this lost
cause, this writer’s life, while mother was proud I graduated: those tears, as
swelling in brains, our glossy eyes: to repent, Love, to hate, Love, to reason
concerning, Love: our garbage rummaged, as something watching, while daughters
need conflict: at bowls of phenomenon, at deep observations, to go so deep it’s
hard to flee: this hospital maniac, this clear destiny, this compassionate ear:
to love, Adorable, to adore, Remorseful, while breaking to sense deep pain: our
guts, Love, our bowels, Love, our mothers, Love: if but to fly, if but
gentility, if but this anniversary: at gramps with facts, at granny with
wonder, at Precious full pledged this battle: our dreams, Stepfather, our
worlds, Stepfather, our nutty evaluation—to become something, while driven by
something, this early Sunday hangover: to sip wine, to dine with Love, to
nibble candy wax: this bleeding insanity, while pleading normality, as cut for
ruined and breathing…!
I
dip traffic, I gut ambition, I need a particular atmosphere—those literary
brains, this inner Catholic, or this raving Episcopalian: as full my tithes, as
full my life, where reason is slipping: this Doctor, those anniversaries, as
coming every thirty days: this affliction, this gift, if going deeper: those
dead-men, this living zombie, this trenchant Elias: at guts in Syria, at rites
in Athens, while seated at internets: this journey, Love, those attitudes, this
remorse for frightening, Love: our interior wilderness, this inner movie, to
see something that others find askew: at protecting life, as protecting home,
while protecting sobriety: to clown a man, while daughters get high, where a
swan is at serious moments: unloose us, unlatch us, and realize a maniac
succession: this living Lamb, our meanings waning, while Love was recently
sacrificed: at guts with rules, at obedience with pride, to become that upper
reality: this inner Rabbi, this fugitive gunning, at figs and rituals: such to
dance, such to live, so rich its pathetic: this anti this, this anti that,
while depreciated upon our Kingdom: to fuse this way, to adore intellect this
way, to realize it took a great deal this way: our water pots, as needing to
bathe, or this firkin for wounds: to bleed with us, to realize us, to stand
apace moving through gravity: this fool for Love, this music for Love, this
interior feast upon Spirit: our thoughts shunning, our features advertising,
where Love was sick: at Governor deceits, at witnessed success, while most
religions are not speaking our Ghost:
those shapeless cries, as devoid of foundation, but pushing forward regardless:
this inner something, that I fail to relate, while so close demons are singing:
this tale for granny, this beef for gnawing, to coalesce at red lights: this
flippant mentality, this angry determination, those rules up for negotiations:
our neuronic spirits, our physiologies, our inner piano making readable
symphonies: at courses with Love, such biochemistry, at genetic spirit-links:
my kindred(s), our monopoly, to dig so deeply normal becomes foreign: at
treasuries, at guts, at something too old to capture: this Reptile Negro, this
Saintly Grin, or days to feeling I missed Jesus: our brains baffled, our
Scriptures Distorted, our Hearts Communing.
