Psychologist:
How are you today?
Client:
I’m racing through hell, conjuring up images that are triggered by our
sessions.
P:
When you say that you are racing through hell, what exactly is going on inside
of you?
C:
It moves from anger to sadness to resentment towards you.
P:
Tell me about the anger.
C:
I’m angry at my father for not being there for me; and I am angry at you for
acting like a father.
P:
If you could, what would you like to say to your father?
C:
I would like to forgive him, if only he could explain the reasons for not
trying harder. So I would tell him to justify his actions, without blaming
others for his wrongs.
P:
Did it help to say those things to me?
C:
It took a little of the pressure off; but I do not see you as being my father.
I see you as a person shifting me through emotions.
P:
Tell me about these emotions; because it is common to be agitated with someone
that is causing strong emotions to come to the surface.
C:
I’m glad that you spoke to my concern; because I go from being angry at my
father to being angry with you. I wanted a fairytale childhood—at least it
seems that way now.
P:
What is it that now makes you feel that it appears as a fairytale?
C:
So many of my friends come from broken homes. We talk about it all the time. In
most cases there is drug use and alcohol abuse. So I often wonder about things
like forever. I guess what I am trying to say is, I wonder if things would have
gone well with my mother and father if he had stuck around.
P:
Does your mother ever discuss this with you?
C:
Yes.
P:
What does she say?
C:
I’m starting to feel boxed in.
P:
We can change our topic, if you would like.
C:
It’s not that. (Long pause) It’s just that my mother is angry with him. He
abandoned us.
P:
Does your mother feel this way?
C:
Yes! She tells me things that cause her to feel pain.
P:
When was the last time that you spoke with your father?
C:
It’s been years.
P:
What did the conversation look like?
C:
He told me that everything would be alright; and I am still waiting.
P:
Did he clarify exactly what he meant by alright?
C:
I figured he was going to make things better with my mother?
P:
Do you worry often about your mother?
C:
All the time. It’s been a long road for her and I. She carries a lot of
pressure. I often wonder of what I can do to lighten the load.
P:
This load that you wish to lighten, does it cause you any stress?
C:
I stressed more as a child. She was always trying to make things seem perfect;
but I could see the pain in her eyes.
P:
Did this make you resent your father.
C:
Yes, and no; because I was unclear about a lot of things; but after watching my
mother struggle, I imagined that he could make things better.
P:
Let’s take a moment to breathe. We’ve just covered a lot; but we need time to
sort through everything.
C:
Alright. (2 minute pause)
P:
I would like for you to continue practicing mindfulness; and I want for you to
try meditating for fifteen minutes a day instead of ten minutes.
C:
Sometimes I have a good run with meditation; and sometime not so good; but I’m
trying.
P:
That is all that we can ask for, until it gets easier.
