I
ache soreness, this vengeful dahlia, this mis-fathomed rumination: as dying
God’s pain, or intricate a snaky web, or feeling this present spasm: our guts
to harmonicas, our blood to venom, our bowels to Jehovah: this pregnant spouse,
our dreams upon platinum, our grannies trying this curse: if but our good
times, seasoned in Cajun soup, to blend our gumbo: this feral daisy, this
pungent rhythm, this fury unto gravel and dust: our furious bones, our
ferocious lungs, this tornado stretching our arteries: this sure Princess, this
alighted travesty, this swan ingesting currents: to bleed soil, to ingest mud,
to fall while gripping satiation: this hell for tears, this bird for cries, these
mystics our old selves: this passionate elf, this remarkable person, this tale
fleeing down yonder: if but by wisdom, this theologic pain, this husband
becoming as he witnessed: this perfect person, this gray noise, this welt
attached to heart emotion. I could
forget—this tragic curse, while staring at grandfather: this welkin man, this
thought to goodness, this winter’s abrasion: this talking wall, this steep
affliction, our days pondering Nebuchadnezzar: our grannies bleeding, this son
of thoughts, this tragedy as far too cruel: where God is questioned, this
vexing maze, to feel as Job this humbled existence: but dear to God, this
losing of children, despite this new person: our aches with solace, this beautiful
Lexus, this warming and cozy temperament: but, nonetheless, this cruel man,
this cruel feeling, this right to wage war: as men dying, our women to chimneys,
our guts ingesting raw liquor: to plead as destroyed, to gripe as destroyed, or
to grovel as one destroyed: this pushing passion, this timeless thug, this
remarkable Theologian: our days to passion, our nights to passion, our lives as
knitted in tsunamis: this voice as deaf, this ear as receiving, this woman as
too for much: this living swan, this dying swan, this occasion to depict such
raving examples. I’m losing self, as
born to psychs, I’m shedding tears: this non-threat, this emotion as subtle,
this adverse creature to blackmail: if but to soar, as livid this curse, where
Love was such beauty: {to speak with substance, to exist despite consequence,
to utter, It was pleasant our first time
around}…this intimate therapy, this kiss from yonder, this ache for more
than our ruthless selves: this father watching, this aunty to God, and this
great grandmother to swanic souls: this struggle with life, this tetras as
failing, this anger as rooting Naïve in sediments: our blatant cries, this
person I met, this woman at ends attempting to lace infinity: but hell to me,
as more to self, to witness this snake with wings: this dragon’s curse, this
swan at prayer, this curse as passing through generations. I couldn’t pause, this life of Chinese rice,
this world of Fajita steaks: as men wondering, while falling victim, if but to
nothing than this silent voice: where Love was ingratiated, and Love was
willing, and mother was positive: to come to grits, this terrible truth, while
Love was quite demanding: this horrendous Precious, this heavy heart, this
arrhythmia seeking its home: this trial with passions, this leafy intestine,
this gut-born insanity: this puffing maniac, this wine as our first chorus,
this pentagram as God’s witness: our warlock horizon, this wiccan half-course,
this mystic with deaths: those tragic crosses, this effusion in souls, this man
with reluctance to choose life: this dying fool, this mechanical music, this
ache as slipping into darkness…our rules for justice, our judges for
plaintiffs, this mysterious woman pushing my panic: this button slipping, this
passion wailing, if butt to suggest this love of hair designs: to cuss and
rant, to fuss and live, to remember this woman crying her life: as daughters and
souls, but not on this account, for I failed this journey: so no to redemption,
at this moment in time, and more to suggesting, I see your soul: this inner
woman, this elegant flower, this want to exceed as perfect: where death is
gentle, this majestic segue, this entrance into faith: that mobile creature,
this leggy Labrador, this talkative iguana: (your fairest luxuries, your
seconds at God, this feeling as illuminating).
